Fig Fest!

[caption id="attachment_2072" align="alignleft" width="140"] This is not really Cleopatra. This is Vivian Leigh. If you've seen busts and coins that show what Cleopatra really looked like...well, she must've had a really good personality.[/caption]

Cleopatra says, "Oh, excellent!  I love long life better than I love figs!" in Antony and Cleopatra (do you see me here, quoting Shakespeare??).  Her enthusiasm (I mean, who doesn't love long life?) for figs speaks to their appeal.  Although, in this day and non-Mediterranean age and locale, there seem to be either fig lovers or fig...well,

[caption id="attachment_2088" align="alignright" width="144"] Figs in about March[/caption]

haters seems a bit strong, so fig dislikers. Most people enjoy a Newton, but the fig relationship is snuffed out with the emptying of the package.  We've always been big Fig Newton fans (big fans, not big Newtons, although big Newtons would be fine, too),

[caption id="attachment_2089" align="alignright" width="180"] Figs in June[/caption]

and we are blessed with a prolific fig tree in our yard, which was, back some many moons, a volunteer.  A stray, if you will.  The figs we grow are entirely organic (not exactly due to our commitment to the earth's well-being, rather that the tree thrives on neglect), and quite large.  Some of them verge on being the size of a pear!

Every year the tree is very generous, giving enough not only for us, but also for the birds, the deer, and the rabbits, too.  I like to use as many as possible fresh, but then I am

[caption id="attachment_2104" align="alignright" width="150"] The harvest[/caption]

still left with a lot of unused figs.  I bought a dehydrator, which is like a triple-decker cooling rack, except that it is enclosed and has a fan that blows warm air on the fruit.  I have tried this many times and, sadly, have been left with tough little carcasses of figs, rather than the sticky lusciousness you get with a store-bought dried fig.  So why keep trying it? Hope springs eternal, I guess (and yes, I do know the definition of stupidity).  But this year I looked into it online, and on eHow I found a way to oven-dry the figs.  It worked very well.

The first thing you do is to make sure all your figs are ripe, clean, and free of bird, uh, detritus. Then preheat the oven to 250 degrees.  Cut off the stems, then slice all the figs lengthwise.  Place the

[caption id="attachment_2094" align="alignleft" width="180"] Ready for the oven[/caption]

figs, cut side down, in a shallow dish with sides.  I used Pyrex 9x13s, and they worked well, but use a dish to fit the amount of figs you have, as the figs need to fit snugly in the dish.  You need a pan with sides because the figs give off a lot of juice, and you want to contain it.    Place the dish with the figs in the oven, and set the timer for one hour.  After an hour, turn the figs over, cut side up.  The juice should be starting to flow now, so kind of mop it up with the figs as you turn them over. Set the timer for another hour and repeat, this time turning the figs cut side down, mopping up the juice again. Set timer for an hour again, and turn figs

[caption id="attachment_2095" align="alignright" width="180"] After an hour[/caption]

cut side up.  If you have a lot of juice, tilt the pan and use a spoon to drizzle that juice over the figs. At the end of three hours, the figs will be dark, wrinkly, sticky, and fragrant. Reduce the heat to 200 degrees, and return the figs, still cut side up, to the oven for about 30 to 45 more minutes. That will allow the excess liquid to evaporate, the figs to dry somewhat, and the texture to become more like that of "real" dried figs.  The whole process will have taken about three-and-a-half hours. Turn the oven off and allow the figs to cool down in the oven (I left them in the oven overnight and it was fine).

[caption id="attachment_2096" align="alignleft" width="135"] Finished product[/caption]

These figs stay quite moist, so I would store them in the fridge for short-term use, or freeze them for longer storage.

This isn't exactly a cost saving recipe--the oven is on for a very long time.  But what you do get is some tasty, nutritious dried fruit that is prepared with absolutely no chemicals or preservatives.  I made fig bread, which was delicious toasted with either brie or blue cheese on it, and will be making fig bars soon.

Apparently figs were one of the first foods cultivated for agriculture, 11,000 years ago in the Middle East, according to Wikipedia.  I don't understand why they are not used today to help solve hunger problems.  While they do need some winter rain, they don't need any water for about 9 months out of the year, and they seem to self-sow.  In addition, they produce two crops every year, one in June and the other in about August--there are huge amounts of fruit! I would think some poverty-stricken areas in the world could use a few fig trees to help alleviate some of their problems.  Figs are very high in sugar, which would surely be a boon to starvation-prone areas.  They even have a little protein in them!

Well, I'm off to dry another batch, and then I will wait for the second crop to ripen.  And so it goes.

[caption id="attachment_2097" align="aligncenter" width="300"] Almost ripe fig with second crop on deck[/caption]

Relief for Your Tootsies

[caption id="attachment_2034" align="alignright" width="150"] I kid you not. They looked just like this![/caption]

First, some theme music (take note of the shoes the girl in the video is wearing!). Put it on, and then come back. When I was in college, I wore high-heeled shoes that were chic (at the time) but oh so painful.  I prided myself on not limping, even when my feet were actually bleeding.  I would walk all over campus in ridiculously uncomfortable shoes, due mainly to the fact that I looked, well, fabulous (humor me--it was the '80s).  Ahh youth.  Ahh vanity--all, sadly, missing from my life these days.  Fabulous?  Umm...no.  Youth?  Nuh-uh.  Vanity?  Struggling to keep her head above water, but rapidly losing out to comfort.

Every now and then, however, events come to pass where I have to wear shoes that are less than comfy.  Or even just on a day-to-day basis, I have a couple of pairs of flats that, while not terribly uncomfortable on the whole, rub my feet a bit, making me very glad to take them off ASAP.  So anyway, a recent outing led me

[caption id="attachment_2035" align="alignleft" width="158"] Similar to this, but mine are black.[/caption]

to wear a pair of rather high, platform wedge espadrilles.  I knew I'd be on my feet for a long time, so I thought I'd look into some pain prevention.  Band-aids are no good here--maybe it's just me, but they slip off very quickly when I try to use them inside shoes.  Instead of Band-aids I use waterproof first-aid tape (the white stuff), which works pretty well.  But these platforms were peep-toe, and slingback as well.  So no, white tape would not work.

Then one day I was in Target and thought I'd take a gander at the shoe accoutrements, to see if there was anything that would be helpful.  Lo and behold, there was!  Well, at the time I didn't know it was helpful, but I soon found out.  It's this stuff called Fab Feet Blisstick.  It is invisible blister protection.  It's just beeswax and hydrogenated vegetable oil (wait--isn't that Crisco??) and a little fragrance.  The container is like a tiny stick of deodorant.  All you do is apply it to your foot anywhere you think there may be rubbing that would end in a blister.  Before my event, I tried it with flats.  It was fantastic!  I wore them all day, for the first time ever, with no pain! So when I had to wear my platforms, I whipped the Blisstick out again, and truly, it was amazing! I wore those darn shoes for about nine hours, with no blisters.  The Blisstick makes a slippery (but not messy) coating on your skin that prevents rubbing.  And I was worried about it staining the leather, but it didn't.  So what a find, just in time for sandal season!  Highly recommended!

Grown-up Fun

Well, I just don't know what to tell you.  I thought I had an addiction that was mine alone.  But have you been in the Vacaville Costco on a Thursday or a Friday lately?  Everybody (no, really--everybody) has a bottle (or two or three) of Kirkland Premium Golden Margarita in their cart.  It's ready-to-drink, and it is sooo good.  Addictive, in fact.  It's tart, not too sweet (I don't care for sweet cocktails), and very, very tasty.  I would not advise stepping on the bathroom scale after a day spent by the pool, quaffing this little number.  Heaven only knows what the calorie count is. Far better, frankly, not to know.  My vices are so few, and I don't want to ruin it.  Apologies for the photo of the partially used bottle, but we seem unable to keep a new bottle unused for very long at all.  It's about the same alcohol level as wine (12.7%), but somehow it's just so much more festive!  Truly, it can't be beat as a by- or in-the-pool drink.  (Of course you know that a blow-up pool is just as good as an in-ground pool for our purposes here--the cool, blue water is the object.)  $9.99 for that great big bottle?  Not much money, and certainly well spent.  My advice:  have plenty of ice on hand, and get dinner ready BEFORE you head out to the pool with your little cocktail(s).

And Now for Something Completely Different

(you have to say that in your best Monty Python voice--go ahead--click on "Monty Python"! You can hear it!  Okay, now come back.)

Not too long ago I talked about some of my favorite book genres, and one of those books in the "Women in the Middle East" genre was Persepolis, which is a graphic novel.  I really loved that book, which surprised me.  I've never been one for comic books. Well, that's not entirely true--I used to love "Archie" comics, what with all the high drama that minx Veronica stirred up.   But that's where my interest stayed--it never segued into manga or anything crazy like that.  So liking Persepolis was unexpected.

Writing the Literary Obsessions post got me wondering if there were other graphic novels I might like.  I started poking around on Amazon and found a couple I thought I'd like, and then some I just wanted to read out of curiosity.

The graphic novel I read out of curiosity was called Black Hole by Charles Burns. It was very good, well drawn and well written.  But weird.  Very, very weird.  I felt like I'd read something I shouldn't have.  It's the story of teenagers who care only about getting laid, getting high, getting drunk, and getting laid. Oh--and getting laid.  It's basically a cautionary tale (or tail--ha ha!-- if you read it you'll get the joke) about a bunch of teenagers who don't care about a plague that seems to be causing them terrible, disfiguring wounds, growths, etc., as long as they get to keep having sex.  So of course you see the AIDS parallel here.  I found it very dark, quite depressing, and it made me think that I was neither young enough nor edgy enough to read graphic novels.

But I wasn't quite ready to give up on graphic novels just yet.  I found Maus I:  My Father Bleeds History, and Maus II: And Here My Troubles Began, by Art Spiegelman. Once again, a genre of books I am fascinated with led to my discovery of these two graphic novels.  Holocaust memoirs are unsettling and horrifying and at the same time utterly compelling.  Maus tells the true story of Art Spiegelman's father, a Holocaust survivor.  The Jews are portrayed as mice, and the Germans as cats.  The Poles are pigs, the Americans are dogs, and a child of mixed heritage (i.e. German and Jew) is shown as a mouse, but with cat stripes. When the Jews (mice) are trying to pass as gentile Poles, they wear pig masks. It sounds odd, I know.  The animal portrayals make it easy to decipher who is who (a German civilian or a Polish civilian?), and don't detract from the story in any way. I couldn't put it down.  I read both books in two days.

It's no secret that another of my favorite genres is the whole British thing.  And yes, there are graphic novels to fill the bill of..well, the whole British thing.  Like a message from above, I came across Posy Simmonds.  How could someone named Posy disappoint me in any literary fashion?  Well, she didn't disappoint, and I love her work.  How did I find her?  Well, it's kind of a long story (you knew it would be).  I was watching TV, home alone one day, which NEVER happens, and when it does I never watch TV, except for this time, and I came upon a movie called Tamara Drewe (and by the way, one of the main characters is played

[caption id="attachment_1948" align="alignleft" width="203"] "Friday Night Dinner" cast[/caption]

by Tamsin Greig, who played the mother on the very, very funny British TV series "Friday Night Dinners").  I really liked it, and noticed at the end it was based on a book.  When I went looking for the author (Posy Simmonds) at the library, they didn't have anything except Gemma Bovery, so I got that one instead. Obviously you know this is going to be a takeoff of Madame Bovary, and it is.  Gemma (like Emma, the other Bovary) is unfaithful and feckless, and meets an end that is retribution for her misbehavior. But it's so good!   It's like a comic book soap opera.  I finally got Tamara Drewe, and I loved it too!  Apparently it is loosely based on Hardy's Far from the Madding Crowd, which I have never read.  But it tells the story of a woman who returns to her childhood haunts, vastly transformed, and a couple (the wife is Tamsin Greig) who run a writers' retreat.  The husband is famous in his own right, and the wife is sacrificing and long-suffering, and of course drama ensues.  I just love these books!  The writing is so great, and then you throw in the drawing as well?  Well, I am in awe of Ms. Simmonds. I am looking forward to reading more of her work.

Not to be shallow, but something I love about graphic novels is how quickly you can finish them.  I read Gemma Bovery in a couple of hours!  It's not that I'm trying to get it over with, but sometimes it's nice to be able, in one afternoon, to check a book off your list that you've been wanting to read.  As an old grownup lady, I never thought I'd be a fan of the genre, but thanks to these books, particularly the works of Art Spiegelman and Posy Simmonds, I truly am.  They are completely different, and I hope you'll give them a try.

Take Four as Needed for Anxiety...

Put this music on and come back.  No really, just click on where it says "this music"  and it will open in a new window.  I just learned how to do this and I am RAWTHER excited.  You know I will be attaching music to everything now, don't you.  The music will open in a new window, and you can listen to it when you toggle back to this window.  Okay, so now you hopefully have some very beautiful, very soothing music playing in the background. Isn't that nice?  That's Bent, with their song "Swollen."  It's a pretty old song, but it's one of the most gorgeous pieces of music I know.  Okay, back to more ways of alleviating anxiety (None of which include chocolate, because though I have tried, really I have, to use chocolate as a tranquilizer, I've found it only aggravates things, since now I have calories and fatness to worry about.  And maybe breaking out.), because on the whole I have a LOT of anxiety.

1.  The music is, first and foremost, my best way of dealing with stress and anxiety. When you're done with "Swollen," close out and try this one.  It's Angela McCluskey singing with Telepopmusik, called "Don't Look Back."  This isn't music to cheer you up--that's a whole different criteria.  This is stuff to calm you, to soothe your savage breast.  Well, if not savage, certainly tense. Okay, now play this one!  It's Royksopp, "In Space."  Alright, now last of all throw in some Daft Punk, "Nightvision."  None of this is new music--the Daft Punk alone is 10 years old!  But these are beautiful, peaceful, and calming pieces of music.  They work!

2.  Another interesting little thing I found is called Bach Rescue Remedy. They are stress relieving pastilles, and they are sort of like gummies.  They have a very mild citrus flavor, and you chew/suck two or three at a time.  They are homeopathic, made of flowers ( in Switzerland!), and apparently have no better efficacy than a placebo.  Well, I don't know what to tell you, because I find they work really well--bring on the placebos! I generally chew a few when I feel wound tight as a spring.  And then, after about 20 or 30 minutes, I suddenly notice that I don't feel wound quite so tightly.

3.  Much as I hate to admit it, going for a walk is hugely helpful (I prefer to doctor myself from the comfort of my own home).  Taking the dog tires us both out, and we both sleep better. Although I don't think the dog has any anxiety.  She just likes to go for walks.

4.  Finally, if worse comes to worst, sit outside, look at the full moon (which always aggravates my anxiety issues--the moon, not the sitting), and open a bottle of wine. And maybe put on some music (see above).

How to Stay on Your Diet

Dolce & Gabbana has this ad campaign for Spring 2012 that makes me happy (and I seriously covet the dress the matriarch on the far left is wearing in the top photo).  It looks like some outrageously good-looking Italian family hanging out on the shores of Lake Como, going to church, yelling at their kids, loving their kids, eating and drinking wine outside (absolutely one of my favorite pastimes), and even (get this) including elderly people in the photos.  In general they are living the good life.   I just look at these pictures and hey--sign me up!  I want to look fabulous and dignified and attractive (while drinking wine outside?).  So every time I want to put something like, say, a Cheet-o  (or a fun-size Hershey bar, perhaps?)  in my mouth, I will look at these pictures instead.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Can't...stop...eating...chocolate....

What is wrong with me??  Hershey's isn't even my favorite chocolate!  I do love Hershey's, it's just not top choice.  And while I  certainly wouldn't turn down dark chocolate either, if I get a choice I'll choose milk chocolate every time (what can I say, I guess I have an unsophisticated palate).  Preferably Cadbury's Dairy Milk, thank you very much.  I think this rampant ravaging is caused by knowing that I have to get back on the straight and narrow tomorrow, diet-wise.  How can it take me sooo long to lose weight, and then have it come back on sooo quickly?  Not fair. I am also well aware of the visible-signs-of-aging/sugar partnership.  Yikes!

Anyway, the whole reason I bought all these little Hershey bars (fun size indeed!) was to make oven s'mores.  Yes, you could toast your marshmallows in the fireplace, but it's supposed to be near 90 degrees in Vacaville today.  And by the same token, toasting them over a campfire outside would doubtlessly end in an epic conflagration, what with today's 30 mph winds.  So, broiler it is. Super quick, and you can very precisely control the golden-brown-ness (If you need that much control in your life.  Which I do.) of the marshmallows.

All things considered, the calorie content isn't THAT bad.  I mean, it is tooth-achingly sweet (not a bad thing, in my book), and gooey beyond compare, and it weighs in at about 150 calories, which isn't awful for a dessert. And really, even for me, a world-class sweet-tooth, just one is enough.  Plus, I think just about everybody loves a s'more.

So go heat the broiler, and place the rack so that the s'more will be about 4 to 6 inches away from the element. We'll just make one s'more for right now. Break the rectangle of graham cracker in half, and put it on a baking sheet.  Put three sections of a fun-size Hershey bar on top (I tried it with two sections, but the marshmallows don't balance very well), and then two marshmallows on top of that.  Put the whole little pile into the oven, and STAND THERE.  Don't walk away!  It goes from toasty to terrible very quickly (or blackened to buggered, as the case may be). Keep checking, and when the marshmallows are a good color for you, remove from oven and leave to sit for a minute or so to let the chocolate melt and the marshmallows start to implode a bit.  Put the other half of the graham cracker on top and press down gently. 

In the interest of...what? probably not science, so the furtherance of economical desserts?...I ate this very s'more, and drank a big cup of very strong coffee with it.  You see, I give and I give.  In future, I will always eat my s'mores with a coffee chaser.

And I promise I'll have a salad for lunch.